To The Babies in Heaven Without a Mama on Mother’s Day

Dear Babies,

Today is such a special day, down here on earth. We gather our babies and our mamas and our grandmamas and we celebrate. We take pictures, wear pretty clothes, eat fancy brunches. We rejoice in the challenge and sanctifying beauty that is motherhood. We smile as we think about all the ways we gave our own mothers gray hair. We share hugs and kisses. Memories. Laughter.

Today is a special day.

But please don’t think that you are forgotten today.

I want to tell you, please don’t be lonely. But I know you are most definitely not lonely. You’re in the arms of Jesus, a place, to be honest, I often wish I was. I know you’re not lonely or sad. But I can’t help but picture you, looking down on Mother’s Day celebrations, and feeling the lack of a warm mama hug.

Just like your mama feels the lack of your warm hug.

Dear Babies, you are on your mama’s mind every day. And today, you are on her mind every minute, every hour of the day. You may see her pouring all her energies and smiles and kisses onto your brothers and sisters. But please know, Dear Baby, that she is thinking of you every time she scoops them up. She’s wondering what you would have been like. She’s desperately longing to feel the weight of you on her lap and in her arms. She’s dreaming of you in the back of that minivan, with the rest of your siblings.

And she’s missing you with her whole heart.

Dear Babies, on this Mother’s Day, please don’t feel alone. Run to the arms of our Savior. Find your grandmas and your great grandmas. Find your cousins and aunts. Find your siblings. Find your people, and look down at your family. Look down at your mama. And see her happiness, and see her longing. She longs for you, and some days, the dream of seeing you in heaven is what gets her through the day.

To my own dear babies.

Dear Marvel Israel and Anchor Shalom, I miss you so much. What a joy to wrap your big brothers up this morning. And a what a wonder to feel your little brother or sister kicking in my belly this afternoon. But what a heartache to know that I can’t hold two of my precious children. You weren’t with me for long, but that doesn’t diminish my love for you. My mama love. I would give anything to have you here today. Please don’t feel lonely. I know you’re surrounded by love from your Savior and your family. But keep that piece of mama-heart just for me. Please.

One day, I’ll join you. And we can celebrate every day. We can make up for all the missed Mother’s Days. We can hug and kiss and smile and laugh, and all the tears will be wiped away.

Until then, Dear Babies, snuggle together. Look down at your mama as she dreams of you and loves you. Rejoice for the love she has for you, that is unmatched, I promise. And know that soon, God will restore what was taken, and we will all sit together for an eternal celebration.

Love,

Mamas on Earth Without Their Baby on Mother’s Day

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